


Couples Dare

by nanifairy (ktwrites1530)



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, bobhwan, it's the swimming pool AU haha, very slight side YunBin, we put it as sexy first because i don't know if i can take it there haha
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-18 03:21:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20632247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ktwrites1530/pseuds/nanifairy
Summary: A couples dare is where two people do the dare as a pair / together. If they choose to skip the dare, they each would need to take shots of drinks, which increases the more dares they choose to skip.-----It's Jiwon's 24th birthday, and his best friend Jinhwan helps him to prepare for his party.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kimjiwonandau](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimjiwonandau/gifts).

> It's the swimming pool AU that I said won't see the light, but there were requests for sexxxxxyyyy Bobhwan so let's see if I can take it there hahaha

“Kim Jiwon, get out of the bed now!”

Jinhwan sat on the edge of Jiwon’s king-sized bed, its softness making him bounce. He couldn’t find where Jiwon was in the flurry of thick comforters and six pillows—despite the tough exterior, Jiwon liked cuddling, and in lieu of cuddling with an actual person, he stuck to cuddling pillows.

_He’s a catch. My best friend is a catch. Why isn’t he in a relationship so he could get all the love and cuddles he deserves? _Jinhwan thought.

Jiwon groaned, moving slowly in his bed, and then nothing. Jinhwan rolled his eyes, almost wanting to stomp his feet on the floor in a childish tantrum.

“Come _on, _Jiwon. I didn’t fake my sick leave for nothing! You are not getting out market duties,” Jinhwan said, patting the bed, trying to find any part of Jiwon’s body. He yelped when a hand clasped over his hand firmly. A couple of pillows fell to the floor, and Jiwon emerged, a wide, sleepy smile on his face.

“JIWON!”

Jiwon pulled Jinhwan onto the bed with a sharp tug, and Jinhwan kicked and squealed as he tried to fight his way out of Jiwon’s grip, but Jiwon was stronger. Jinhwan found himself lying next to Jiwon, the latter’s arm over Jinhwan’s waist, pinning him onto the bed. Jinhwan held his breath because Jiwon was so close—their noses touched, and his eyes, which, up to this day, still had the power to render Jinhwan speechless.

“Jeez, good morning to you, too, Jinani hyung,” Jiwon said, his voice gruff and husky, sending shivers down Jinhwan’s spine. He had always liked the way Jiwon called him by his nickname—_Jinani_—because he cuddled it, the letters tumbling out of his mouth full of gentleness.

No one ever said _Jinani _the way Jiwon did.

Jinhwan winked at him, recovering. “It would be a better morning if you would just get out of bed now and help me go to the market for your party tonight.”

“Seriously?” Jiwon said, rolling off Jinhwan. He grabbed one of the pillows and buried his face into it, groaning. When he emerged, his crazy head of hair was as tousled as ever, the three creases on his forehead making an appearance when he frowned.

“But it’s my birthday, hyung. I am entitled to sleep in.”

Jinhwan wrinkled his nose, reaching over and pinching Jiwon’s face. He smoothed the creases on Jiwon’s forehead, his fingers trembling a bit when it touched the scar on and over Jiwon’s left eyebrow. “Not with the party you planned tonight. Inviting guests and not getting a caterer? Really? Do you plan on serving them Chinese takeout or pizza?”

“No,” Jiwon replied, a sheepish grin on his face. “That’s why I have you. Today you’re not a game developer. Today, you’re my chef.”

“I don’t even cook that decent! You should’ve gotten Yunhyeong. He has a restaurant for Pete’s sake.”

Jiwon rolled his eyes, and then fixed Jinhwan with a serious look. “But I want you.”

Their gazes locked, and Jinhwan wasn’t sure if it was just him or there was tension in the air. They stared at each other, Jinhwan swallowing the lump in his throat while trying to search for answers to his unasked questions in Jiwon’s eyes.

Jinhwan was the first one to break free. “The game I waited for _two years _is out today, and you’re making me miss playing it. I didn’t skip that just so you could stay in bed while I hustle for your party. Get up. Come on.” He hopped down the bed, rounding the corner, pulling at the covers with all his strength.

“Hyung, no—”

Jinhwan guffawed, as Jiwon’s cheeks flushed. Not that Jiwon was naked under the sheets—he was in his boxers, and over the course of their friendship, he knew Jiwon either slept fully naked or half-naked. Jinhwan’s eyes travelled down to Jiwon’s bare chest, his pectoral muscles firm and defined, down to his six-pack abs that he got from working out because it was part of his job to b e fit. Jinhwan’s eyes dared to travel lower, and Jiwon’s boxers were _tight_. He could see the bulge under it, trying to fight against the fabric, wanting to get out.

Jinhwan cleared his throat. “Well, good morning, Mr. Kim Jiwon. Time to take a shower,” he said, taking a deep breath. “A cold one, if I may suggest.”

Jiwon rolled his eyes at the older guy, taking one of the pillows and covering himself. “Like you don’t get this in the morning,” he mumbled, fake angry, and Jinhwan chuckled, sticking out his tongue at him.

“Well, reel it in. We’re leaving in an hour.”

Jinhwan turned around and headed for the stairs of Jiwon’s grand loft apartment. He had just taken three steps on the hardwood floor when he felt a pillow hit him from behind. “You haven’t even given me your gift! Or greeted me!” Jiwon whined.

Jinhwan picked up the pillow and, grinning, tossed it back to Jiwon. “Happy birthday, Kim Jiwon,” he said, and walked backwards towards the dresser near the door. He tapped on the rectangular blue box with a red ribbon on top. “Gift,” he said, and then without a word, turned and walked out of Jiwon’s room.

Dazed and curious (and still clutching the pillow that Jinhwan threw to cover his still quite eager man parts), he walked towards the dresser to get the box. The heavy weight surprised him. He shook it, trying to figure out what was inside, but the way the content shifted, it told him it didn’t have that many moving parts. Sitting back down on the bed, he placed it on top of the pillow now on his lap. He untied the ribbon, letting it fall to the floor, and lifted the lid.

“No shit,” Jiwon said, awestruck. Inside the box was an album of sorts, with a dark purple cover which was his favorite color. There was nothing on the cover except for two stickers at the bottom: a bunny and a fairy, which was some sort of an inside joke between the two of them—bunny for Jiwon’s two prominent front teeth and fairy for Jinhwan’s cuteness. He ran his fingers over the stickers, shaking his head slowly, unable to comprehend this. If this was what Jiwon thinks it was, this was a first. Jinhwan liked giving gifts but rarely does he dole out personalized ones.

Jiwon lifted the cover, and on the first page was a baby picture of him, followed by a big number “24” at the side. He turned the page again, and there he was, probably a few days or weeks old, cradled in the arms of a one-year-old Jinhwan. The young Jinhwan on the page looked awkward and scared, which was quite understandable because he was a baby holding a baby.

The next page held a series of pictures of Jiwon and Jinhwan—Jinhwan now three and Jiwon one, at the playground of the park near their houses. Jinhwan was the first one to go down the slide and then Jiwon, idolizing his hyung, followed him, but he had miscalculated the landing. The second to the last photo showed Jiwon, face planted on the ground, and Jinhwan pointing at him and laughing. And then the last photo on that page was Jinhwan, concern written all over his face, rushing to his aid, having pulled him up to stand and brushing the soil out of his clothes.

Typical of his best friend—to laugh at him first but help him out later.

Jiwon was about to turn to the next page when he heard Jinhwan call out: “Ya, Kim Jiwon, I don’t hear the shower running! Get your ass moving now!” He shook his head, wanting to see more of the photo album that his hyung had compiled. _Where did he even get all these photos? _Jiwon thought.

Jiwon stood up, running down the flight of stairs to find his hyung in the kitchen, tinkering with the coffee machine.

Jinhwan turned, an annoyed look on his face. “Jesus, why aren’t you in the shower yet—”

He swallowed the rest of his sentence when Jiwon wrapped him in a tight hug, the younger guy tucking his chin under Jinhwan’s shoulder, even if he was taller. “Thank you,” he whispered, despite not having seen the rest of the photo album yet. The most important part of it was it made him realize that in all twenty-four years of his life, there was one person outside of his family that was constant, and he was holding that person in his arms right now.

It felt like he had the whole world in his arms now.

“C—can’t breathe…” Jinhwan choked, and Jiwon finally released him.

“What is wrong with you?” Jinhwan asked, puzzled, taking a big gulp of air.

Jiwon shook his head, a small smile on his face, as he ruffled Jinhwan’s hair—much to the older guy’s chagrin. “I’m going to take a shower now. Back in a bit,” he said instead, and he rushed back up the stairs, leaving Jinhwan speechless.


	2. Chapter 2

“Can we just give up cooking, Jiwon?”

Jiwon grunted at the weight of the bags of food that he and Jinhwan had shopped. Well, more of what Jinhwan had shopped and he lifted and carried. It didn’t matter if he was getting the squeals and head turns in the wet market and the supermarket that they went to or that it was his birthday—today, he wasn’t a popular rapper with three double platinum albums and 100 PAKs tucked under his belt or that it was his birthday.

Today, he was Jinhwan’s assistant.

The tired look on Jiwon’s face was replaced with a small smile as he watched Jinhwan, the elder one eyeing the shopping list in his hands, a deep furrow on his forehead.

His hyung had always been like this. Even if there were things that Jinhwan said he couldn’t do, he would try—especially if it was Jiwon asking it. Jinhwan was the look-before-you-leap kind of person and Jiwon was the what-the-hell-just-take-the-leap one, so he would always coax his hyung into new experiences. Like that time when Jiwon wanted to do bungee jumping and the heights made him uncomfortable. He showed his hyung first that it was fine and that it could be fun, jumping alone first. It was way better with Jinhwan yelling and cursing him at the side, though—and at the end of it, the adrenaline-boosted wide smile on Jinhwan’s face was worth the hour he spent talking him into it. 

Cooking was also one. Since almost always Jinhwan was enamoured in whatever game he was playing, he would either forget to eat or would just order takeaways. He would drop in on Jinhwan, forcing him to cook for the two of them so that he would take a break from the games he’s beta-testing and developing, and that he would eat something other than fastfood. In the course of that, they discovered Jinhwan could cook a mean jjamppong.

And that was Jiwon’s request for today. A jjamppong from Jinhwan.

What he didn’t tell his hyung was that caterers _were _coming for his party, as there was no way they would serve just jjamppong for a party of thirty.

“The noodles alone would take time…” Jiwon heard Jinhwan mutter. “Did we even compute this correctly? Are my proportions enough to serve thirty people?” Jinhwan continued, a dark, worried look on his face.

Jiwon deposited the bags onto the kitchen counter. He had just opened his mouth to speak but Jinhwan was already busy around his kitchen, pulling cupboards and drawers open to find the stuff he needed. He rounded the corner, stopping Jinhwan in his tracks.

“Hey, hey—hyung,” he said, grabbing both of Jinhwan’s arms to stop him from moving. An irritated look crossed the older guy’s face, eyes ready to fight, intense enough that it made Jiwon step back. This was the version of Jinhwan he was always scared of—the hyung version, the one that always put him in line.

Jiwon took a deep breath and put on a soothing voice. “Jinani,” he began, “it’s okay.” He searched for his hyung’s eyes and when he found them, he smiled the big bunny smile that he knew always worked for his best friend. “The jjamppong is just for me. Yunhyeong’s resto is taking care of the food for tonight.”

Jinhwan’s mouth dropped open in disbelief. “I—You—_argh!_” Before Jiwon could even shield himself, small fists started to attack him, hitting him on this arms and shoulders. He laughed, adjusting to parry Jinhwan’s blows.

“I stressed over that for two weeks, Kim Jiwon! You jerk!” Jinhwan said, punches still coming, until Jiwon lunged forward, grabbing Jinhwan’s hands and locking them behind him.

“Hyung,” Jiwon said, still chuckling, rocking the arm-locked Jinhwan in his arms.

“I…” Jinhwan started to say, but his voice trailed as soon as their eyes locked. They were practically hugging now, Jiwon’s lips just a few centimeters away from Jinhwan’s forehead. Jiwon’s heavy breathing made the older guy’s hair flutter, and Jinhwan was left speechless, left gazing into Jiwon’s eyes where happiness was dancing.

“It’s not that I know you wouldn’t pull it off, because I saw you pull off far more complicated things than this,” Jiwon explained. “But we need other dishes apart from jjamppong, and that jjamppong you make should only be just for me. It’s Jiwon’s jjamppong. I’m claiming it,” he finished, the bunny smile replaced with a smug one.

Jinhwan’s only response was a soft sigh. _Claiming my jjamppong as his, hmph_.

He tucked the other thought at the back of his mind—the one that screamed _can Jiwon claim me as his, too_—but it wouldn’t help them. It never would, because he knew Jiwon didn’t feel the same way towards him.

“Well, release me so I can cook the damn jjamppong,” Jinhwan said instead, trying to wriggle against Jiwon’s grip.

But the younger guy wouldn’t let go. “So you’re not mad?” he said softly.

“I’m mad, but it’s your birthday, so you get a pass.” Jinhwan tried to break free again, but Jiwon’s armlock was tight. “Let me go.”

“For now,” Jiwon said with a smirk, finally releasing his hyung. Jinhwan harrumphed but didn’t say anything else, stretching the arms as if it numbed under Jiwon’s grip. Wordlessly, he started to unpack the groceries, with Jiwon watching him.

Once Jiwon deemed it was safe—after a bag and that frown on Jinhwan’s face had eased—he helped, taking out the contents of the third grocery bag. They worked in silence, with Jinhwan measuring the ingredients and then Jiwon washing and cleaning whatever needs to be rinsed and cleansed prior to cooking.

The one thing that made Jiwon’s jjamppong special apart from Jinhwan was the one making it? The noodles were freshly made ones and not the ones that come out of the pack.

It was made on pure effort—that’s why Jiwon loved this jjamppong.

Jinhwan was on to the noodles now, adding flour on the countertop to prevent the egg and water dough from sticking. This was the part that Jiwon loved the most—but he never told Jinhwan that. He pulled a high stool and sat on the other side of the kitchen counter, watching Jinhwan knead the noodles with his small hands. With his face contorted in concentration, Jinhwan kneaded, rolled, and patted the dough until it was smooth.

Jinhwan in his element was one of the many things Jiwon adored.

His hyung was about to wrap the kneaded dough in cling wrap to let it rest when a patch of flour hit him on his face, making him cough and wrinkle his nose.

“What the—” Jinhwan started to say, but another puff of flour hit him, and he had to blink through it because some of them entered his eye.

“Jiwon, stop it, you idiot—”

He was answered by a chuckle, and this time, a small splash of water hit him. He stood there in awe and shock, as another flurry of flour hit him, dirtying his clothes.

“Jiwon!” Jinhwan yelled, and it was followed by a loud laugh. He took a fistful of flour and tossed it towards Jiwon’s direction, who ducked but still got some on his hair. “What are you doing, we still have to cook!”

Jinhwan didn’t have time to duck when Jiwon caught him, arm around his waist. He then smeared his floured hand across Jinhwan’s face, making the older guy’s face even whiter.

“_Ya, Kim Jiwon!_” he whined, which just made Jiwon laugh even harder. The taller guy turned Jinhwan in his arms, the latter’s flour-soiled clothes transferring onto Jiwon’s.

“I’m a mess,” Jinhwan complained, blowing upwards his face to remove some of the flour Jiwon had caught him with. “And now you’re a mess, too,” he added, surveying both their clothes.

“It’s okay,” Jiwon said, grinning at him. Jinhwan caught the end of the flour bowl and dipped his finger into it, and then drew a line from Jiwon’s forehead down the bridge of his nose. He did this all while being wrapped in Jiwon’s waist embrace, the younger guy not having let him go yet.

“You know,” Jiwon said, close enough that his breath warmed Jinhwan’s face, “all the other times you’ve made those egg noodles, I’ve wanted to do that.”

“What, to flour me?” Jinhwan asked with a pout.

“To ruin that concentration,” Jiwon said. “You know you have this frown—” he touched the spot in the middle of Jinhwan’s forehead— “and you scrunch your nose in this little cute way while you knead the dough?”

“Cute,” Jinhwan scoffed.

“But I stop myself from doing it, because it’s more amusing to watch you cook for me.” Jiwon gave him a satisfied smile. 

Jinhwan rolled his eyes, even if his heart was soaring. He wanted to tell Jiwon to stop playing with him, but he couldn’t.

It was moments like this that kept him hanging onto his love for Jiwon.

“Thanks, hyung. You’ve always taken care of me and looked out for me,” Jiwon said, his gaze on Jinhwan softening. The playfulness was gone, and it was replaced with seriousness. “You’ve been a really great best friend and a hyung.”

It took all of Jinhwan’s energy to mask the pain and disappointment on his face. _And there we go again_, he thought.

“Of course,” he said, livening up his voice so it wouldn’t fall flat. “Always, Jiwon.” He patted Jiwon’s cheek—transferring more flour onto it—which made Jiwon grin. “Now let me go so I can finish the jjamppong.” 

Jiwon didn’t speak, staring at him, and then after a beat, he released Jinhwan onto his feet. “Cook away, chef. I’ll go get us clean clothes.” He ran up the flight of stairs, grabbing a towel from the rack in the bathroom before heading to his bedroom. He saw the photo album again, which made him pause. He took it from the dresser, opening to the next page from where he had stopped earlier.

He was seven this time, and Jinhwan nine. The series of photos showed Jiwon was on a bike, with Jinhwan holding the bike seat from behind, trying to steady him. He remembered this—the first time he wanted to ride the bike with the training wheels off. He envied Jinhwan at that time, because his hyung rode the ‘big boy bike’ with no training wheels, and whenever he tried to do it, he kept on crashing and falling. Jinhwan would brush off the soil off his clothes and tend to his wounds, and then afterwards his hyung would coax him to get on the bike again. “One more,” he remembered Jinhwan saying. The one more would become ten more and twenty more… until that time Jinhwan had finally let go, watching him go for a full minute on a training wheel-less bike without crashing.

The last photo on the page was one he hasn’t seen before. A shot of Jinhwan, seated on the pavement, shoes off as if he had a long day and his legs were hurt, holding out his wounded hands. _The bike seat? _Jiwon thought. But despite the wounds and tired look on his face, there was a fulfilled smile on the young Jinhwan’s face.

He didn’t know Jinhwan was hurt, too.

Three pages later, he landed on the page where he was twelve and Jinhwan was fourteen. It was a party at Jiwon’s parents’ house, for which one he had already forgotten. The photo series showed Jiwon with his girlfriend at that time, Jisoo, as he had his arm around her shoulders. They were caught in mid-laugh at something someone was saying. Jinhwan was caught in those photo series, lurking behind them. In one shot he was looking at something in his drink, and the next one was his hyung, looking at him and Jisoo, a sad smile on his face.

Like he lost.

Jiwon frowned, flipping through the other pages, searching if there were other pages that showed him with Jisoo. There were a couple other, since his relationship with Jisoo spanned four years, and in every shot, Jinhwan was there. He had a smile on, but it was one that didn’t reach his eyes. They were sad eyes, the given-up eyes.

And then it hit Jiwon.

The smile was a bittersweet one, as if Jinhwan was happy that he had Jisoo but sad for something else.

But sad for what?

_Was it possible that…?_

Jiwon shook his head. His hyung loved him, sure, but _loved him _loved him?

“Kim Jiwon!”

He closed the album, thoughts in a jumble in his head.

******

“_Happy birthday to youuuuuuuuuu!_”

The crowd finished singing albeit in various tones, some off-key, as Jiwon grinned at them. A roomful of people, his family included, all with him on his birthday. The one person who has consumed his thoughts the last few hours stood on one corner of the room, holding up his glass of bourbon to him.

“Make a wish!” Jinhwan shouted, joining the cheers from the crowd. So Jiwon closed his eyes and wished in earnest: _A healthy and happy life for me and my loved ones, more career opportunities. _

He opened his eyes this time, smiling at Jinhwan. _And to find out if Jinhwan hyung really loves me. _


	3. Chapter 3

It was 2AM, and the crowd dwindled to few of Jiwon’s closest friends and their significant others. Jinhwan scanned the people left, and he shook his head because they’re all coupled and paired up: Yunhyeong with his date Hanbin, Donghyuk with his girlfriend Lisa, Junhoe chatting with Lisa’s friend Rosé, and Chanwoo and the lady he had met in the party, whom Jiwon told him was named Yeri. Some of them Jinhwan knew from before, like Yunhyeong and Junhoe, having grown up with them with Jiwon. But Donghyuk and Chanwoo were Jiwon’s friends from the industry, people he had only heard from Jiwon’s stories.

Jinhwan was half-expecting Jiwon to also come with a partner, but there wasn’t any better half for him, as he stood in one corner with a bottle of beer in his hand.

Jinhwan also wasn’t with anybody—come to think of it, he hasn’t dated in a while—

“Okay, what’s bothering you, Jinani hyung?”

Jinhwan was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t even realize Jiwon was already standing next to him. Jiwon handed him a glass of bourbon, neat—Jinhwan’s choice of poison—and Jinhwan downed it in a couple of gulps. “Nothing,” Jinhwan replied, sliding the empty glass onto the table behind them. He was almost drunk—one more drink and it would tip him over the edge.

Jiwon chuckled. “Come on, hyung. That’s your seventh drink of the night, and you’re sulking in one corner. There’s something going on…” Jiwon ducked, trying to search for Jinhwan’s eyes, who then looked away. _Jiwon was counting my drinks? _Jinhwan thought.

“You should be happy, smiling. It’s my birthday,” the younger guy added quietly.

“I _am_ happy, Jiwon,” Jinhwan said, finally meeting Jiwon’s eyes. He held his gaze, and Jiwon could see the sincerity in them. “I’m happy for you. You’re 24, you have an amazing career… you’re flourishing. You’re right where we both dreamed you to be.”

“I sense a ‘but,’” Jiwon said with a teasing smile.

“The ‘but’ is for me,” Jinhwan said with a soft sigh. “I just feel like—”

“Okay, guys! Let’s bring some life to this party!” Donghyuk’s voice cut into Jinhwan’s statement, and Jiwon wanted to ask his hyung to continue but the passive look on Jinhwan’s face told him the moment has passed. He cocked his head instead towards Donghyuk, and they walked to the small group gathered.

“Couples dare,” Donghyuk said, saying as if he was saying _tada_, a flourish, like it was a magic spell that he had just cast, but blank stares came as the reply. Lisa wrapped her arm around his arm, as if trying to comfort him.

“Couples dare?” asked Yunhyeong, stepping forward while tugging Hanbin. They gathered in a small circle, Chanwoo standing in between Jinhwan and Jiwon.

Donghyuk shrugged. “Well, let’s see if we could make it exciting considering there are two people who are in a relationship here, two more who are just in a getting-to-know phase,” he said, pausing to casually throw glances at Rosé and Junhoe, and then to Chanwoo, who was looking at Yeri across him. “And maybe one pair whom have yet to figure out where they are and what they really are.”

Jinhwan frowned, trying to count the pairs that Donghyuk was saying. _Two pairs in a relationship: Hanbin and Yunhyeong, Donghyuk and Lisa. Two pairs in getting-to-know phase: Junhoe and Rosé, Chanwoo and Yeri._

_So that leaves…_

Jinhwan looked up, just in time to catch Jiwon turning his head slowly towards his direction. “Us?” the younger guy mouthed to Jinhwan, and Jinhwan swallowed the lump in his throat. He shot Yunhyeong a panicked glance, which Yunhyeong returned with a shrug. His eyes pleaded to Hanbin, but Hanbin winked at him.

“We’re game,” Yunhyeong said, casting a glance at Hanbin, who nodded. Junhoe looked at Rosé, who, with a mischievous grin on her beautiful face, nodded. “We’re in,” said Junhoe.

And then it was down to two.

Yeri eyed Chanwoo, who cast his eyes to the ground. “I… would do it?” she said in a meek tone. “If Chanwoo would do it with me.”

Chanwoo let out a soft gasp of surprise, and then a slow smile played on his lips. “We’re in,” he said, and he stepped towards Yeri, offering her a hand. She met him halfway, taking his hand. They settled in the spot next to Rosé and Junhoe, and all eight pairs of eyes were on the remaining two people.

Jinhwan wasn’t that close to Donghyuk, because he was Jiwon’s friend from his rapper life. But this was his plan, his game, so Jinhwan said, “Donghyuk—”

Donghyuk turned to the two, a small smile on his face. “So, would you two going to be killjoys and be relegated to spectators, or—”

Jiwon cleared his throat. “I’ll do it with Jinhwan hyung only if he wants to play,” he said, taking one step to the side, occupying the space vacated by Chanwoo. Jinhwan sighed heavily, hesitation all over his face. And now the burden falls on him.

Jiwon took another step, and now he’s in Jinhwan’s personal bubble. Placing a hand on Jinhwan’s shoulder, he said softly, “Hyung, we can opt out of the game. No one is going to take it against you.”

The older guy let out another sigh. This only made him uncomfortable because he wasn’t sure what the dares were. But he knew Jiwon—he was game for anything, living life freely—which was something Jinhwan had always wanted to do.

And then there’s the elephant in the room: he had always liked Jiwon, and he knew his affections for him weren’t just because they grew up together or that the younger guy was his best friend. He knew it was beyond that. He loved Jiwon; he had been in love with his best friend for a while now. He had kept it hidden, suppressed because of his fear: fear that his best friend didn’t feel the same way so he would end up ruining things between them and he would end up getting hurt.

Getting hurt because of Jiwon wasn’t new to him, though—having witnessed Jiwon fall in love on multiple occasions. 

“How can someone who plays and develops games for a living be this hesitant over _this_ game?” he heard Donghyuk quip, and Jinhwan’s eyes flashed towards the man. “Shouldn’t you be open to stuff like this?”

_Asshole. This is real life. You can’t press restart or have a checkpoint to go back to when things go south. You can’t walk back things in real life,_ Jinhwan thought, his glare towards Donghyuk getting intense every second.

With a theatrical shrug, Donghyuk said, “Okay, birthday boy sits this one out! Unless… someone wants to switch partners?” He wriggled eyebrows at the other people in the group, a teasing smile on his face.

The thought of Jiwon doing the game with someone else—

“Fine, I’ll do it,” Jinhwan said, resigned.

“Aha!” Donghyuk said, a victorious smile on his face. He clapped his hands, and Jinhwan wasn’t sure if it was to applaud himself for succeeding in pairing the two or to call the group’s attention. “Okay. So… the rules are,” Donghyuk continued, “each pair would take their turn, to do something that they are daring the other couples to do.”

Jiwon leaned closer to Jinhwan, whispering, “You ok with this, hyung? We _can _back out. Stop letting Donghyuk rile you up.” When Jinhwan turned to look at him, Jiwon had a soft smile on his face, as if trying to comfort him.

“It’s fine, Jiwon,” Jinhwan said, sounding a bit more convincing this time.

“Be creative!” Donghyuk’s voice boomed, cutting the conversation between them. “Anyone who wants to skip the dare,” he continued, moving towards the makeshift bar they made, “takes a shot. Second dare they skip? They take two shots. The third dare they skip? You get the drift, people.” He slammed a bottle of tequila onto the counter, with Lisa sliding the salt and the bowl of lemon slices next to it.

“So either be game, or get ready to be drunk,” Donghyuk said with a chuckle.

Jinhwan let out a long, shaky breath as Jiwon pulled him closer into the circle.

_Let the games begin_.

******

The first task was fairly easy—Lisa leaned over and nibbled Donghyuk’s ear. Everyone in the group finished the dare in a jiffy—except Jinhwan and Jiwon.

Jiwon turned him just as the third pair started to do the dare. “Shot or dare?” he asked in earnest. He was giving Jinhwan the space to back out. Jinhwan’s cheeks started to turn red, eyes on Yunhyeong and Hanbin, as Hanbin licked and nibbled Yunhyeong’s ear. It made the latter chuckle, but afterwards he rewarded his boyfriend with a peck on the cheek.

They were the last pair, and the fourth pair, Chanwoo and Yeri, were next.

“I’m ticklish around the ears,” Jinhwan said instead, surprising the younger one. “So I do you?” he said, turning to Jiwon, whose jaw had dropped open. With a finger under his chin, Jinhwan closed Jiwon’s mouth.

“This is still easy,” Jinhwan told him, “and I probably only have one or two more shots left in me before we can officially declare I’m drunk.” He sat closer to Jiwon, gathering his strength from all the liquid courage he had taken earlier. “So let’s save the shots for dares that we really can’t do?”

“You sure, hyung?”

Jinhwan shrugged. It’s their turn now, and expectant eyes looked at them.

He took a deep breath. “Please don’t move,” he said, grabbing Jiwon’s shoulder and leaning towards him. Everyone was seated in a circle, the bottle of tequila and the rest of the paraphernalia in the middle. Jiwon didn’t move, not until he felt Jinhwan’s tongue near his ear. He chuckled, and Jinhwan nudged him with his elbow.

“I haven’t even done anything yet!” Jinhwan said, and the younger guy grinned, some color rising in his cheeks.

“Your breath tickles!”

“Stay still, bozo,” Jinhwan said, shaking him. He swallowed the lump in his throat, and he almost pulled back when Jiwon turned to him, face serious. Jiwon gave his hyung one encouraging nod, as he locked his face to focus.

“Let’s go,” Jiwon whispered. “Just a nibble.”

“And a lick,” Jinhwan added, coming closer. He held his breath once he was close to Jiwon so the latter wouldn’t giggle. He licked, his tongue touching the upper lobe of Jiwon’s ear. He felt Jiwon’s breath catch, too, and then after that Jiwon let a slow exhale.

_Guess who’s not giggling now? _Jinhwan thought with a grimace.

Then he nibbled, teeth against flesh, tugging at Jiwon’s ear for one more time before releasing it.

Jinhwan flopped next to Jiwon, as if nothing happened, as if that wasn’t the most intimate thing they have ever done with each other ever since they’ve known each other.

But his heart was racing inside his chest. It wasn’t about shutting Donghyuk up anymore and fulfilling the dares. It was about him and Jiwon.

_Something will shift if we continue to do this_, he thought.

Jinhwan could feel Jiwon’s eyes on him and when he turned to look, he saw something that he hadn’t seen before, in those eyes and one that was meant for him: a fire. A different kind of fire.

He dropped his gaze, looking up for the next dare. It was a safe one, courtesy of one of the getting-to-know couples, Chanwoo and Yeri: a big bear hug, one that safely cocoons the person being hugged inside the arms of the other. It wasn’t something new to Jiwon and Jinhwan—they have bro-hugged and embraced countless of times, and it was fine.

Jinhwan smiled as he watched the other pairs do it, and when it came to them, they didn’t even have to talk about who would be which one. Jiwon stood up, offering a hand towards Jinhwan, who took it. He pulled his hyung to stand, and then without another word, wrapped Jinhwan in his arms—just like how they did yesterday morning. The older guy then wrapped his arms around Jiwon’s waist, pulling him closer, their bodies flush against each other.

It was supposed to be short. Just one quick hug and that’s it. Dare done. But Jiwon placed his hand on the elder guy’s nape, cradling him against his chest. Jinhwan buried his face into Jiwon’s chest, tugging the younger guy tighter to him. He could hear and feel Jiwon’s heart racing in his chest; he’s pretty certain his was beating fast, too.

A loud (and staged) clearing of throat led them to break apart. Jinhwan cussed internally, because he wanted to jump back in those arms, in Jiwon’s warmth. And even more, his feelings were a bundle of clusterfuck now. Each dare that they do—each dare that Jiwon willingly does with him—slowly awakens all the feelings he had buried deep inside.

Jinhwan stumbled before sitting down, the booze in his head causing his mind to stir. Jiwon caught him, a worried look on his face. “Hyung, can you still continue?” he asked. “Maybe you should rest—”

Jinhwan shook his head as Jiwon lowered him slowly back to the ground where they sat. “I’m still fine—”

“You are drunk already, you know that, right?” Jiwon cut in. “Still not slurring the words so I guess you’re one step away from going over the edge.”

“Then we do all the other dares, Jiwon,” Jinhwan said sharply. “If you don’t want me going over the edge, we do all the other dares. I don’t think I can handle another one shot.”

The younger guy looked hesitant. “Or we can duck out of the game,” he suggested instead.

“No,” Jinhwan said, his tone firm and cold. “Anything but that.” He cast a dark look towards Donghyuk’s direction. “I won’t give your friend the satisfaction in calling me a chicken.”

Jiwon sighed, shaking his head. “Every single dare after this?” he confirmed.

“Yes. Every single one,” Jinhwan affirmed. “There’s only two more left, Jiwon. And the last one is by us. So… I think we got this.”

Jiwon shrugged, sitting next to his hyung but closer this time. He eyed his hyung warily, concerned at his state of drunkenness.

By the time the next dare came in, Jinhwan wanted to take back his words.

It was Junhoe and Rosé, and Jinhwan was pretty sure that Donghyuk had misclassified them under getting-to-know when he saw the dare. It was a body shot—still a rather innocent one as far as body shots go—because it wasn’t on the chest or stomach, but on the collarbone.

Jinhwan watched as Junhoe exposed a part of Rosé’s clavicle, sprinkling some salt on there. He figured out what was going to happen, and he rolled his eyes. _Why do these people like licking? _he thought, frustrated. Junhoe then tried to balance the shot of tequila on Rosé’s shoulder but she kept on giggling, making her shoulders move, so Junhoe just gave up. He licked the salt off Rosé’s shoulder, tossed back the shot, and then sucked on a lemon wedge.

Jinhwan thought it was going to end there, but he was wrong—as Junhoe winked at Rosé, whose blush crept on her cheeks. A wide smile played on her lips, and then she reached for Junhoe, holding his face in her hands—a move that surprised the young man.

_This wasn’t part of their plan_.

Jinhwan could feel himself sweating. The kiss that was happening in front of him wasn’t just a simple kiss; it was a deep, feel-your-soul kind of a kiss. It wasn’t sleazy, nor was it the kind that makes you turn away. It was the kind of kiss shared by two people who cared and loved each other, the one that make you go _aww_ because you knew it meant something.

That it meant everything.

“That was—” Junhoe said once they broke free of the kiss, which was some time later. “That was our first kiss!”

_Oh man. _

“Took us some damn time to get to it,” Rosé said with a giggle, hiding behind her hands. Junhoe pulled her to his side, pressing another kiss on her temple. He, too, had a flush on his cheeks, still looking a bit dazed from the kiss.

Jinhwan turned to Jiwon, who took a couple of gulps from his beer. There was a wistful smile on Jiwon’s face, as if he was both happy for Junhoe and wishing he also had that—the bliss of someone who was in love.

_If we do this, I won’t be able to walk it back. _

An internal war raged within Jinhwan. He wanted this—who wouldn’t want to kiss Jiwon?—but if they do this… 

“Shot,” Jinhwan said, and Jiwon turned to look at him. “We are taking the damn shot.”

The younger guy frowned. “We _are _taking the shot, hyung. It’s a body shot dare of sorts—”

“No, no, no… we’re taking the shot to get out of it.”

Jiwon smirked. “Here I thought you didn’t want to be called a chicken?” he said in a low voice.

“You seriously want to do all that?” Jinhwan in a loud whisper, waving his hand towards the just finished couple.

“You said so yourself, you couldn’t take another shot,” Jiwon said simply. “So I’m taking the body shot. The rest,” he paused, his frown back, “well, that’s on both of us.”

“Jiwon—”

The younger guy turned to look at him, impatient. “Let me just remind you, prior to seeing the dare, you said we do every single one afterwards, because you couldn’t take any more alcohol and you didn’t want Donghyuk to tag you as a coward. You remember that, hyung, right?”

Begrudgingly, Jinhwan said, “Yes.”

“So where’s all that now?”

“Excuse us, bickering couple… but your turn,” Donghyuk called out. “Penalty shots, or the body shot dare? Since this is the third dare, we’re upping the ante. Penalty is three shots each.”

Jiwon looked back at Jinhwan, eyebrows raised in question. “We’ll only do it if you want to,” he whispered. After a split second of thinking, Jinhwan took the shot glass and poured tequila into it.

“Body shot or penalty shot?” Jiwon asked, confirming.

“Body,” Jinhwan said, the word coming out heavy, as he pushed the salt towards Jiwon. He held out the lemon wedge for the younger guy, as Jiwon scooted closer to him.

“You sure?” Jiwon said, as he tugged at Jinhwan’s shirt sleeve. It exposed his shoulder tattoo, the one that spelled out **_IN THE LAP OF GOD_**, and he waited in bated breath for Jinhwan’s answer.

“Yes,” the older guy replied, breathless.

Without another word, Jiwon poured on salt on Jinhwan’s collarbone, close to his neck. He didn’t dare take off his gaze from Jinhwan’s, who was also gazing back at him, watching every single move. He leaned closer, and just before he was in licking distance, he paused, waiting for Jinhwan to scurry away.

But he didn’t. Instead, he gave Jiwon an almost imperceptible nod, and Jiwon went for it, slowly licking the salt off Jinhwan’s skin. Jinhwan burned where Jiwon’s tongue touched, past his shoulder tattoo and then his neck, the fire spreading to the rest of his body.

Without breaking eye contact, Jiwon gulped down the tequila shot, barely flinching at the taste of the liquor. He took Jinhwan’s hand, sucking on the lemon wedge and then tossing it behind him after he finished.

The next step should’ve been Jinhwan’s, but he couldn’t move. Jiwon gave him a small smile, as the younger guy ran his hands up and down his hyung’s arms, as if to warm him up.

“Jinani.”

“Jiwonie.”

It wasn’t the ‘no’ that Jiwon expected.

He moved, cupping Jinhwan’s face in his hands as he gazed at his hyung, the other people dissolving around them. It was just the two of them—no one else.

Jinhwan finally moved, turning his face ever so slightly to kiss the inside of Jiwon’s hand. “Oh hyung,” Jiwon whispered, closing the distance between them. Jinhwan’s eyes were round in shock, because he didn’t really think that Jiwon would push through with it.

But he did.

Jiwon’s lips were on Jinhwan’s—the lips that Jinhwan thought he would never get to taste. At first Jiwon didn’t move. It was just lips-on-lips—zero action—which made Jinhwan heart drop.

_Jesus Christ, me and Jiwon have zero chemistry? _

But then Jiwon moved, lips moving slightly, making Jinhwan’s eyes drop to a close. The tentativeness of the kiss faded away as Jiwon led it, slow and testing. He dropped one of his hands to Jinhwan’s nape to pull him closer, kissing him deeper, as if he wanted to obliterate any other space between them.

Like this wasn’t close enough.

Jinhwan moved, finally responding, hands tugging at Jiwon’s shirt. He, too, wanted Jiwon closer; he wanted to feel Jiwon’s warmth, he wanted _more, _he wanted _him_. For a long time now.

But then just as Jinhwan was starting to enjoy the kiss, Jiwon pulled away, making the older guy groan.

“Open your mouth, hyung. Let me in,” Jiwon whispered, and Jinhwan leaned against him, the last of his strength spent on fighting against this—against Jiwon—fading. He opened his mouth and Jiwon dove in, tasting, feeling, exploring.

This time, Jinhwan was sure—he wasn’t drunk on booze now. He was 100% drunk on Kim Jiwon.

And he was the best thing he has ever tasted.

Jinhwan’s tongue mated with Jiwon’s, the beer, the tequila, the lemon, and whatever else they had both taken and drunk mixing. It felt like forever, but he didn’t care.

He moaned into the kiss, but he didn’t care.

They both didn’t care.

And then Jiwon broke free, breathless and dazed. Jinhwan opened his eyes slowly, only to see the younger guy’s face still centimeters away from his. He didn’t stop himself from chasing Jiwon’s lips, closing the distance, aiming for one more kiss, and he did.

He felt Jiwon smile under his lips, and when Jinhwan released him, Jiwon’s smile became a full-blown grin.

The world came falling back—and it was only then that they could hear the cheers and whistles coming from the other couples. Shocked, Jinhwan jumped back, one hand landing in the bowl of lemon wedges and the other one knocking down Jiwon’s beer bottle, spilling the contents on his jeans.

“I guess our job here is done?” Donghyuk said, a wide smile on his face.

“I—” Jinhwan started, but he stopped, as he didn’t even know where to begin: to ask Donghyuk what he meant, to process things, to talk to Jiwon, to kiss Jiwon again—

“Jinani—”

Jinhwan stood up, brushing off Jiwon’s hands. His jeans were dripping with beer, his hands were sticky from the lemon, and a million thoughts ran through his head.

“Excuse me,” Jinhwan said to no one in particular, and he ran back to the house, despite Jiwon’s calls for him to come back.


	4. Chapter 4

Jinhwan found himself by the poolside, mind murkier than ever. Initially he thought running into the house was the better option—to hide in Jiwon’s room—but that would be the first place Jiwon would look. He took off his shirt then his jeans, stripping off down to his boxers, a bitter smile on his face when he realized the one that he was wearing was Jiwon’s gift.

_A pack of boxers with bunnies printed on them_.

He looked up, snow falling from the sky and collecting on the glass roof. He remembered Jiwon’s excitement to show him that the house that he wanted to buy had an indoor pool. _“Hyung! We can swim here! Can you imagine the pool parties we can have and all the races where I am going to beat you?” _

He dove into the pool, a perfect dive, one of the many things he and Jiwon had practiced a lot back when they were kids. They loved the water and playing in it, and that spurned a lot of friendly and not-so-friendly swimming races even up until now.

The one fantastic thing about indoor pools? Heating. The water was just the right amount of warmth and cold, and Jinhwan found whatever weight he was carrying somehow cooled down. He opened his eyes in the water, watching as his breath came out in tiny bubbles, rising into the water and later vanishing.

He kept on flapping his arms to keep him under, as much as the air in his lungs would allow him to, until it hurt to breathe.

_What the hell was that with Jiwon earlier? That look. The way his lips tasted. The way he kissed me. The way _I _kissed him. How he felt. How his body molded against mine. _

It was the booze. And the teasing. Jiwon probably didn’t want Jinhwan to be embarrassed in front of his friends—not when Donghyuk had already riled him up.

_Yeah. Maybe that was it. Again, he was just being nice. He was just looking out for me. _

Jinhwan let out a long breath, probably exhausting all his stored oxygen. He was about to emerge to get air when he felt strong arms grab him by the armpits, lifting him out of the water. He gasped for air, brushing the water out of his eyes as Jiwon loomed over him, a dark look on the younger guy’s face that was matched with a deep frown.

“What are you doing, Jinani hyung?” Jiwon asked, and there wasn’t any gentleness anymore in the way that he said Jinhwan’s nickname.

Jinhwan took in gulps of air, trying to recover, and then said, plainly, in a way that irritated Jiwon, “Going for a swim.”

It was only then did Jinhwan notice what Jiwon was wearing—he only had his boxers on, like him, not even board shorts, as if he dove into the water without thinking. “Did you just—” Jinhwan started, and Jiwon cut him off.

“I thought you decided to drown yourself because of what happened earlier.”

There was a smug smile on Jiwon’s face that Jinhwan very much wanted to erase. “What, you think making out with you was that bad?”

“No. I was thinking that you are feeling so hot you needed to cool off, and the cold shower won’t do.”

“Well, the water is warm, so…” Jinhwan started to say. He shook his head, trying for a different route. A smirk played on his lips. “Just so you know, Jiwon—you may think you’re God’s gift to humanity, but that kiss wasn’t the best I ever had.”

The look on Jiwon’s face went darker, and he took a step towards Jinhwan. A shiver ran down Jinhwan’s spine, the coldness in Jiwon’s stare seeping into his veins. Jinhwan took a step back, and they kept doing that charade until Jinhwan’s back was against the edge of the pool.

He had nowhere to go.

Jiwon braced his arms on either side of Jinhwan, gripping the pool’s edge, trapping him. Only a thin wall of water separated the two men, and it wasn’t doing a good job at it. “It wasn’t, hyung?”

Jinhwan swallowed, Jiwon’s husky voice making his heartbeat race faster. He felt vulnerable all of a sudden, mentally cussing at himself for thinking a night swim would take his mind off Jiwon and his touch. He felt too exposed to the man he grew up with. He had showed several of his vulnerabilities to Jiwon over the course of the years, but not in this way.

Not like this.

Jinhwan crossed his arms over his naked chest, meeting Jiwon’s fiery gaze. “It wasn’t,” Jinhwan whispered, and Jiwon closed the distance between them, his lips crushing his hyung’s, rough and punishing. It wasn’t anything like the kiss that Jiwon gave him earlier, the slow, sweet kiss that Jinhwan couldn’t get out of his head. One of Jiwon’s hands reached up to deepen the kiss, cupping at his nape, pulling Jinhwan deeper into the kiss. Jinhwan tried to push him away, placing his hands on Jiwon’s bare chest but the taller guy wasn’t budging. Jinhwan settled for keeping his lips closed and being unresponsive, waiting for Jiwon to get over the sleight on his ego.

Jiwon pulled away, eyes still laced with anger. Then his gaze softened when he saw the hard look on Jinhwan’s face.

“Are you done trying to prove a point?” Jinhwan said, brushing his lips with the back of his hand. That seemed to wake Jiwon up, as he let out a loud, slow exhale. He moved, hands cupping Jinhwan’s face, and Jinhwan turned his face to the side.

The pad of Jiwon’s thumb brushed against Jinhwan’s now swollen lips, and then he slowly turned Jinhwan’s face so that his hyung was facing him. “Hyung… I’m sorry.”

“Jiwon, I—”

Jinhwan wanted to tell him that he was sorry, too, because he lied. Jiwon was the best kiss he ever had, and he wanted it again badly. But Jiwon cut him off, his lips finding Jinhwan’s again, as if he knew what Jinhwan wanted. This time it was different—it was deliberate and gentle, and Jinhwan knew if ever he wanted to push Jiwon away, the younger guy would relent.

But Jinhwan didn’t want to.

Jinhwan splayed his hands on Jiwon’s chest, not pushing the younger guy away, but letting his fingers touch him. Beneath his palm, he could feel Jiwon’s heart racing fast. When Jiwon exhaled, his breath mingled with Jinhwan’s as the older guy finally opened his mouth to let Jiwon in. Jiwon’s tongue dove in, and he tasted of minty toothpaste and very faintly of booze. _Did he brush his teeth before finding me at the pool?! _Jinhwan thought, but he kicked the thought out of his mind. He let his tongue dance with Jiwon’s, gripping at his flesh tighter.

Jiwon removed one of his hands from Jinhwan’s neck, letting it travel into the water and placing it on his hyung’s hip. His touch was warm against the water, and Jinhwan shivered. Jiwon’s other hand gripped at Jinhwan’s head tighter, grabbing some of his hair, tight. His scalp stung as Jiwon pulled, but Jinhwan liked the mixture of the pain and the pleasure.

Jinhwan let his right hand slide around him, pulling Jiwon even closer. It suddenly felt too cold and Jiwon was too warm, and he needed more of Jiwon. Jiwon stepped forward, his pelvis grinding against Jinhwan, and Jinhwan could feel him hard against his thigh, eliciting a moan from Jinhwan. Jiwon took another step forward and Jinhwan’s back hit the edge of the pool again, the hardness of the tiles hitting his spine, making Jinhwan hiss.

Jiwon barely pulled back, his lips hovering over his hyung, leaving the tiniest bit of space. As if pulling away and pulling further back was difficult for him. “Did I hurt you?” Jiwon whispered. His eyes were hooded, long lashes slowly fluttering to let his eyes open, letting Jinhwan see the lust in them. The same fire he saw in Jiwon’s eyes after he nibbled on the younger guy’s ear.

That fire. For him. 

“No,” Jinhwan said just as gruffly. He tiptoed, letting his tongue run across Jiwon’s lips. He was more confident now, nipping at Jiwon’s lower lip. He heard Jiwon gasp, his grip on Jinhwan’s waist tightening, keeping their lower bodies flush against each other’s. He let out a soft groan as Jiwon gently moved, his knee brushing against Jinhwan, and—

Jiwon stepped away from him, his hands dropping to his side.

“Jinani hyung, we have to stop.”

Confused, Jinhwan let his hands fall on the water, causing a small splash. He tried to breath more calmly. “Stop, Jiwon?” He could see the other guy’s struggle, too—the confusion and lust mixing in his face and in his eyes.

“_What are we doing?_”

“I don’t know. _You _kissed _me,_” Jinhwan said, his voice almost breaking in the end. He shook his head, clearing his throat. _This was it. Things shifted_.

“And you kissed me back. And, hey! _You_ kissed _me_, too!” Jiwon argued, hand hitting the water, creating a splash. “Don’t you think I would forget that one more kiss you added at the end of the dare? That wasn’t in the dare the other couple did—”

“Shut up, Jiwon,” Jinhwan cut in sharply, making the other guy quiet down. He closed his eyes, taking a couple more deep breaths, and then when he finally opened them, he was calmer this time. Part of him wanted to continue doing this because this was what he wanted, the _something more _with Jiwon, but was this something Jiwon wanted, too?

_Or is he just confused? _

When Jinhwan spoke, his voice was strained, as if whatever he was saying was difficult for him. “We can’t do this. We can’t cross this line. We’re going to ruin our friendship if we do this, if we continue doing this, and you’re the best thing in my life right now. I can’t lose you.”

He watched as the younger guy tried to comprehend his words, fists balled to his side as if trying to restrain himself. “You’re right,” Jiwon said after a while. “I can’t lose you either. We have to stop.”

Jinhwan wrapped his arms around his chest and he took a couple of steps away from him, aiming for the pool’s stairs. He was almost there when he heard Jiwon cuss, and when he looked back, Jiwon was striding towards him, the water not helping him get to Jinhwan faster.

“But Jinani hyung… I think we’re already ruined either way,” Jiwon said when he reached Jinhwan. “I won’t be able to stop thinking of your lips and how soft they were.” He tipped Jinhwan’s chin up to him, his finger running across his lips. 

“Or how you taste.”

Jiwon dipped low, his lips finding Jinhwan’s in the shortest, gentlest of kisses ever.

“Or how you feel against me.”

Jiwon pulled Jinhwan towards him, and Jinhwan crashed into him. One of Jiwon’s hands was on the small of the older guy’s back, pressing Jinhwan closer. Jiwon’s length nudged against Jinhwan’s, making Jinhwan moan.

“That kiss ruined us, hyung,” Jiwon said, eyes finding Jinhwan’s. There was resolve in his eyes, and for what, Jinhwan didn’t know. “And I’m so sorry, hyung… but I’m going to wreck us.”

Jinhwan opened his mouth to speak but Jiwon silenced him, mouth on Jinhwan’s. Whatever little resolve Jinhwan had of them not doing this went out the window when Jiwon’s tongue found his again, deepening the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Jiwon’s neck, and Jiwon transferred his hand on Jinhwan’s back to his butt to lift him up. Jinhwan hooked his legs around Jiwon’s waist, and then Jiwon slowly walked them to the pool stairs.

Then Jiwon turned them around, sitting on the pool steps so that Jinhwan was straddling him, but his lips never left Jinhwan’s. He kissed his hyung, kissed him like making up for the years that he wasn’t doing this, _why didn’t we think this would be a great idea because it fucking is_. He soaked in Jinhwan—lips trailing down his neck, to his shoulder, kisses marking each spot, Jinhwan’s cross tattoo, and then back up again to find his lips.

To Jinhwan, each spot Jiwon’s lips touched felt like being lit up, hot and fiery, and if they weren’t in the pool, he felt like he would’ve lit up in fire if it was possible.

“_Jiwon_,” Jinhwan whispered, chasing Jiwon’s lips whenever they leave his, making Jiwon grin. He leaned his head back, and Jiwon took the cue, trailing kisses down the neck which he now has more access to. One of Jiwon’s hands trailed lower, down the bird tattoo on Jinhwan’s rib cage and settled there, before moving lower, down Jiwon’s waist, cupping Jinhwan. It made Jinhwan moan loudly, and he thrusted his hips into Jiwon’s hand, wanting the younger one to hold him and squeeze him and—

“Jinani,” Jiwon whispered, hand finding the waistband of his hyung’s boxers. He captured Jinhwan’s mouth in a kiss again, and then slowly slid his hand inside Jinhwan’s boxers, making the older guy gasp into his mouth. He wrapped his hand around Jinhwan’s length, pulling back from the kiss, watching Jinhwan’s face—eyes closed, face in a mix of pleasure and constraint, like he was holding back.

Jiwon tugged at him, knowing the right amount of pressure to put, and then he squeezed, making his hyung moan. His hand found the tip of Jinhwan’s cock, thumb circling the tip, and then he stroked him—slowly—and Jinhwan’s hips bucked forward, as if asking for more.

“I—I—_Jiwon_.”

Jiwon smiled, because this time the constraint on Jinhwan’s face was gone. When his hyung opened his eyes, there was no mistaking it—_lust_ and then something else. _Was that tenderness? _Jiwon thought.

Jiwon gave him one long stroke, and Jinhwan leaned forward, as if all energies expended, and Jiwon gasped when he felt a pang of pain on his shoulder. Jinhwan had bitten him, as if a way of release, and then the bite was followed up with a flurry of tiny kisses.

Jiwon ducked his head to find his hyung’s mouth, to taste him again, and he found them, claiming his hyung’s lips like it was forever rightfully his.

“Jiwon hyung, we’re going—_shit_.”

The pair scrambled away from each other, as if scalded by fire. Jiwon was red in the face, cussing as he stood—which he then realized was a bad idea because he was _hard_—and Jinhwan was tossed back into the water when the younger guy stood. He took a deep breath and disappeared underneath, muttering curses under his breath, too—_fuck, who was that, fuck, we were on to it, _and _fuck, what are we doing_. He tucked himself back into his boxers—carefully—as he continued the string of curses in his mind.

After a few seconds, Jinhwan emerged, running his fingers through his hair to shake off the excess water. He saw the culprit—Donghyuk with Lisa tucked under his arm. There was a naughty, teasing smile on Donghyuk’s face, like he knew something, and beside him, Lisa was covering her eyes.

Jiwon covered his crotch with his hands, a sheepish grin on his face. “Um, thank you for coming,” he said to the couple, and that elicited a chuckle from Donghyuk.

“Hope you also come tonight, hyung,” he replied with a wink, and Jinhwan saw the nudge that Lisa gave him. “_What—_they’re almost there!” Donghyuk said in a loud whisper. “Aren’t you glad we made it happen?”

Lisa shook her head, emerging from her hands. “Let the things take their own course. We already gave them the nudge,” she replied. Without another word, they waved goodbye, disappearing back into the house.

With the couple gone, Jiwon turned quickly towards Jinhwan, who was still standing a few feet away from him, an unreadable expression on his face. “What do they mean?” Jinhwan asked, his voice coming out in a squeak. He let out a long exhale and then repeated the question. “What do they _mean_, Jiwon?” he said, his voice more stable this time.

“Well, I think the coming part is pretty self-explanatory considering what they saw…” Jiwon’s voice trailed when he saw the glare coming from Jinhwan. He cleared his throat, turning serious. He settled back into the water, walking towards Jinhwan. “Which part, hyung?”

“The nudge. ‘They made it happen.’ What do they mean?”

Jiwon was close enough to hold Jinhwan, so he reached out to touch Jinhwan’s arm. The older guy deflected it, however, taking one step back for every step that Jiwon took forward.

The younger guy scratched the back of his head, suddenly uncertain. “Donghyuk has this theory,” Jiwon started to say. He tried to reach out for Jinhwan again, and this time, the older guy let him hold his hand. They floated, the sound of the water splashing around them the only other sounds they could hear, because Jinhwan stayed quiet. “His theory was that I love you.”

Jinhwan frowned, tilting his head to the side. “Which you do. I’m your best friend,” he replied, “one that you have pointed out to me multiple times in the past.”

Jiwon winced. “No, no,” he said with a sigh. “He meant that I love you more than that. That I am in love with you.”

The frown on Jinhwan’s face deepened. “What?” he said breathlessly. _WHAT NOW?_

Jiwon rearranged their hands so that his fingers would lace with his hyung’s, and then he raised it, so that they both could see how well their hands fit together. “I didn’t realize it at first, you know? I always thought it was just because of that. That you’re my best friend. I couldn’t remember a time in my life that you weren’t there, hyung. I thought it was just… that.” His voice was light, and he gave Jinhwan a soft smile, one that the older guy didn’t see because he was staring at their joined hands.

Absently, Jiwon rubbed his thumb on the flesh between Jinhwan’s thumb and forefinger, sending tiny shivers through Jinhwan’s skin. “You were familiar. You were… safe,” Jiwon continued. “When I told Donghyukie about that, he laughed it off.” He let out a soft chuckle, his voice turning thoughtful. “He said that I couldn’t even a drop a story without mentioning your name. That whenever you’re around, everyone else would fall off… That I smile more and smile wider with you around.”

The younger guy tugged at their joined hands to catch Jinhwan’s attention, and Jinhwan looked up at him. “I denied it? I didn’t believe him at first. Made excuses so that I won’t have to face it. Told myself that Donghyuk was just misinterpreting things and…” Jiwon sighed. He used his free hand to touch Jinhwan’s cheek, a small smile playing on his lips when he saw the frown that creased his hyung’s forehead.

“I think… I think he made me see it. I buried it, however way I felt towards you. It frustrated the hell out of Donghyuk, you see,” Jiwon said, shrugging, dropping his hands to his sides. “He said I could be happy but I’m choosing not to. Because you love me, too. In the same way.”

That made Jinhwan pause. “Really now.”

“Again, Donghyuk’s theory,” Jiwon pointed out. “You can refute.” He popped his lips. “But I hope you don’t.”

Jiwon paused, waiting for Jinhwan to answer. He wanted his hyung to say he loved him back, that Donghyuk was right. That his friend didn’t just put these thoughts in his head and that it was real.

That their love was real.

“The couples dare…” Jinhwan said, finally speaking. “He did it because of you?”

“Of _us_,” Jiwon corrected. “A wakeup call of sorts.” He paused, a teasing smile on his face. “The kind of wakeup call that I like.” He took a deep breath, and then he held Jinhwan’s gaze. “Jinani hyung, it’s a weird way to get to this… to realize things. Making out with you, holding you in more ways than one,” he said, wriggling his brows a bit, which made Jinhwan roll his eyes. “I don’t mean I’m in this just for the making out and potential sex, but…”

“You’re blabbing,” Jinhwan pointed out, his face dead serious.

Jiwon let out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, I am. Oh god, for the first time in my life, it’s you who make me nervous,” he admitted sheepishly. “But yeah. I love you, Jinani hyung. And not just as best friend. _I love _you_.” _

The silence stretched, Jinhwan not answering. Jiwon watched his hyung’s face, trying to get a read of it, but he had the poker face on.

“I told you I was going to wreck us,” Jiwon said, still with a nervous chuckle, when Jinhwan still didn’t speak after a while. “Jesus, hyung, if you don’t love me back, just… say it. So we can figure out a way to move forward. Because I meant it when I said I can’t lose you.”

Jinhwan let out a shaky breath, taking a step back. “I do,” Jinhwan said, his voice soft when he spoke. He gave the younger guy a small smile, before dropping the words he, too, had been holding back. “I do love you, too. In the same way. For a while now.” 

“You do?” Jiwon said, his voice filled with awe. “You do!” A wide grin lit up Jiwon’s face. “Oh god, you do.” He took Jinhwan’s hands again, laughing while jumping in the water for a slight celebration. “Kim Jinhwan loves me, too,” he said, a bit dazed, finally absorbing the confession. He pressed his lips on Jinhwan’s forehead, and when he drew back, he realized the look on Jinhwan’s face wasn’t one of glee—like his.

“There’s a ‘but,’” Jiwon said slowly. “What’s wrong?”

Jinhwan released Jiwon’s hands, smiling sadly. “But I’m not ready for this. I’m sorry, Jiwon, but I think I’m the one who will wreck us.”

Stunned, Jiwon was unable to find anything to say back. It was only a few beats later and when the water splashed onto his face that he realized that Jinhwan was swimming back to the stairs, faster than he had ever seen his hyung swim. 


	5. Chapter 5

Breathless from the quick swim and the run, Jinhwan barged into Jiwon’s bedroom. He grabbed the nearest clean shirt from Jiwon’s closet and tugged it over his head, even though he was still wet from the pool. He was gathering his things, getting ready to leave, but he heard Jiwon’s footsteps running up the stairs, and then a _thud_—a loud thud that made him jump.

He turned, eyes darting to the floor. There laid his birthday gift to Jiwon, the photo album opened at the last page. In the first photo, it was just before the clock struck midnight on New Year’s Eve this year. Jiwon had his arm over Jinhwan’s shoulder, while Jinhwan had his arm around Jiwon’s waist. They wore the biggest of all smiles, their cheeks almost breaking, eyes almost disappearing with their mirth. The second photo was after the clock hit midnight. They stood there, amid kissing lovers and hugging friends and family members, gazing into each other’s eyes, with thrifty but more meaningful smiles on their faces.

_We were happy. We were content, _Jinhwan thought.

“What are you so scared of, huh, hyung?” Jiwon said, his jaw hard, voice thick with emotion. He didn’t seem breathless from the run; he was breathless because he was seething. He was dripping wet from the pool, but he didn’t care. Neither of them did. Then he pointed an accusing finger at their photos on the album on the floor. “That? The happiest version of you and me? Of us? Are you scared of that, that’s why you’re running away from me now?”

“No.” Jinhwan’s eyes flashed, equally angry. “I am scared of losing _that_,” he spat, pointing at the same page as well. “Jiwon, you know me, inside out. Better than anyone. You’re the person I turn to when I doubt my decision, because you know I would overthink it and you lay out things for me, so I know which direction to take. When I wasn’t sure about which career to take, you sat down with me and when through job listings with me. You never allowed me to underestimate myself and what I could offer. You saw me through all my ups and downs, been through _everything _with me. You are my _best _friend, Jiwon,” Jinhwan said, pausing, because his voice shook and broke at the younger guy’s name.

“Which makes it perfect for me to be your lover, Kim Jinhwan!” Jiwon said, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration. “All those things you just said—that I know you, better than anyone, that I don’t let you underestimate yourself and what you could offer. I accept you. Everything you, even the parts I don’t like!” Jiwon let out a string of curses, and then yelled, “Why the fuck won’t you let me love you?!”

Jinhwan let out an annoyed growl, balling his hands into fists on his sides. “Jiwon, you always got me, but Jesus, why can’t you get this now?!” he seethed. “Crossing the line means we can’t go back, you hear me? There’s no un-ringing the bell on this. We can’t say _let’s forget it ever happened_ once we really do this. And I am scared shitless because of all the people in the world outside of my family, you’re the only person that I just could not live without. I love you, Jiwon—_so much_—that I sometimes feel it consumes me.” Jinhwan sighed heavily, looking up at the ceiling, tears springing in his eyes.

Jiwon stared back at him, mouth slightly agape. There it was again—Jinhwan telling him he loves him. A confession of something he longed to hear, but how come whenever Jinhwan says it, it always came with something he knew he wouldn’t like?

_It shouldn’t be this way, _Jiwon thought.

When Jinhwan returned his gaze to Jiwon, it was accompanied by a long, shaky exhale. “Do you know, Jiwon, how much power you have over me?” the older guy whispered. The anger dissipated from his eyes and turned into defeat. “I see you smile, and I feel like the world is made of unicorns and rainbows. That I feel like I deserved it, I did well, when I make you smile.” A sad smile played on Jinhwan’s lips. “What if I hurt you, huh? What if—what if I do something stupid and unforgivable that would make you lose that smile and turn you away from me?”

A low ‘huh’ was the only sound that came from Jiwon, a deep frown on his forehead. “Let me see if we’re on the same page,” Jiwon said slowly. “You’re saying… that you don’t want us to cross the line and you don’t want me to love you because… you want to protect me from getting hurt?”

Jiwon jumped back when the older guy pointed at him, relief on his face, saying in an exasperated tone, “Yes!” Jinhwan’s expression cleared, as if he was glad that Jiwon finally got him.

“Okay,” Jiwon said, nodding. He then stood up and started to pace, the move unsettling Jinhwan. _Okay, maybe he didn’t get me? _the older guy thought.

Jiwon kept on pacing, sometimes putting his hand on his cheek in deep thought. “Jiwon?” Jinhwan said, when the younger guy hasn’t spoken for a while. The younger guy glanced at him, and then stayed silent, continuing to pace. “_Kim Jiwon_!” Jinhwan yelled, already impatient.

“No,” Jiwon said, finally stopping. He faced Jinhwan, eyes cold. “See, that’s plainly selfish,” he began. With the strain in his voice, Jinhwan knew he was brewing angry inside, ready to blow. “Because I don’t think you’re doing that to protect me. You’re doing that to protect _yourself_.”

“Jiwon—”

“You _are _going to hurt me in one way or another,” Jiwon cut in. “Like what you’re doing now, not making this easy, but that’s beside the point,” he said with a smirk. And then he turned serious, crossing the floor in a couple of strides and taking Jinhwan’s hands in his. He was a bit thankful that Jinhwan didn’t pull away. “And _I _am going to hurt you, too, even if I promise you that I would try my damn best not to. That’s not a pre-emptive excuse or warning, but… it’s part and parcel of loving someone. We are going to disappoint each other sometimes, and we’re not going to like each other 100% of the time.”

“Like now,” Jinhwan quipped, and Jiwon rolled his eyes.

“Yes, like now, because you’re being an idiot.”

“Ya, I am still your hyung!” Jinhwan said, pouting, making Jiwon scoff.

“The way this conversation is going, it is sounding like I am the hyung and you’re the dongsaeng, so let me finish, okay?”

Jinhwan sighed, and then after a beat, he nodded. “Fine.”

Jiwon pulled Jinhwan to the bed, never minding that they were both still wet, and they sat on the edge of the bed. “Hyung, you’ve been in love before. Why don’t you know all of these?” he said softly, keeping Jinhwan’s hand in his, resting them on the older guy’s lap.

Jinhwan’s lips cracked into a wistful smile. “I’ve been in relationships, yes, but not with anyone that I love this much.”

“_Oh_.”

When Jinhwan turned to glance at Jiwon, he was pretty sure the younger guy was blushing, and it made him smile despite the confusion he was feeling. He had the capability to make Jiwon blush, and that was something.

“Hyung, it’s a choice,” Jiwon said after he recovered. He held Jinhwan’s gaze, eyes full of seriousness and sincerity. “Falling in love is one thing, but the loving part is the hard work. It’s a choice you need to make every single day.”

Jiwon shifted his position on the bed, so he was facing the older guy now, holding both his hyung’s soft hands. “Hyung, I told you—I’ve never known my life without you. I don’t want to start now, Kim Jinhwan,” he said, his voice soft. He paused to take a deep breath, and then said, “I think all those years were proof enough that I would always choose to stay with you even on days you make it hard? Even on days when you don’t take a bath because you’re too engrossed in your games—_aw_!” He chuckled as Jinhwan hit him on the shoulder.

Jiwon leaned in, pressing a soft, chaste kiss on Jinhwan’s forehead. “Hyung, you are more than enough for me,” he whispered. “I don’t want to un-ring any bells or forget anything that happened, because we’re not ruining anything here. We’re given a chance to make something perfect.”

Jinhwan sighed, this time leaning his head on Jiwon’s chin. “I’m scared, Jiwon,” he said again.

With another kiss, this time on the temple, Jiwon whispered back, “I’m scared, too, hyung. But I’m more scared to live without you than the unknown that we’re going to face, so…” He drew back, lifting Jinhwan’s chin so that they’re eye to eye. “You’re stuck with me.”

Jinhwan responded with a sheepish smile. “I’d like that.” He tipped his head, pouting his lips towards Jiwon, and the younger guy narrowed his eyes at his hyung, a playful smile on his lips.

“No kiss until you tell me you love me again—without all the buts and the apprehensions,” he teased, making Jinhwan laugh.

And then Jinhwan turned serious. “I love you, Kim Jiwon,” he whispered. “Now kiss me, please.”

“I love you, too, Kim Jinhwan,” Jiwon replied, before finally relenting. He closed the short distance between them, the kiss soft and sweet, and he was aiming for the kiss to go deeper when Jinhwan pulled back.

“More on this later?” Jinhwan said, almost shyly, untangling himself from Jiwon and standing up. It made the younger guy groan, reaching out for his hyung. “I really want to take a good, hot shower and wash away the pool water.”

“We can make out in the shower, you know,” Jiwon said, standing up as Jinhwan backed into the bathroom. “Or more—because I recall we were cockblocked by Donghyukie.” A mischievous grin played on Jiwon’s face, as he took slow steps after Jinhwan, one step forward to Jinhwan’s one step back, as if a predator slowly hunting his prey.

A blush rose in Jinhwan’s cheeks, as if embarrassed by the earlier encounter. “No, no, no—I want to shower in peace!” He was almost at the bathroom door now, and when he turned Jiwon lunged for him, the latter wrapping his arms around Jinhwan’s waist. There was a struggle, Jinhwan giggling as Jiwon wrestled with him to push him inside the bathroom.

Jiwon laughed along with him, parrying the flurry of limbs that tried to fight back his grip. Once he managed to wrestle Jinhwan in the bathroom, he lifted his hyung easily onto the bathroom countertop, kicking Jinhwan’s legs wide open for him. He settled in between Jinhwan’s legs, trying to catch his breath.

Jinhwan, also breathless, ran his hands through Jiwon’s still wet hair, cupping his face in his small hands, and then gazed at him. _This is what happy looks like, _he thought, and he badly wished that he could take a photo of this very moment, to treasure it forever. He settled for capturing it in his mind’s eye, memorizing the way Jiwon’s eyes were in thin lines as he smiled the widest smile he had seen on the younger guy’s face ever since he knew him, and the way he looked so comfortable letting Jinhwan hold his face in his hands. “Slow, Jiwon,” Jinhwan whispered. “We’re going rocket fast right now; we need to take it a bit slower.”

Jiwon sighed, resting his hands on Jinhwan’s hips, looking down at his hyung. “Wine and dine you first,” he tried to joke but then he turned serious when he saw Jinhwan only smiled faintly. “Okay, a bit slower,” he agreed.

“Thanks.”

Jiwon turned his head to the side to press his lips onto Jinhwan’s hand that was still holding his face. “But we can make out, right? I just really, really love kissing you,” he bargained, and Jinhwan grinned.

“Can’t get enough?”

“Never,” Jiwon said, swooping in, claiming Jinhwan’s lips with his. The kiss was a slow, sensual one, one that lasted as long as their breaths allowed them to. It was Jiwon who first pulled back, a hint of disappointment on his face. He lifted Jinhwan down the counter, helping him to his feet. “Go take a shower while I can still restrain myself.”

Jinhwan stuck out his tongue at Jiwon, making the younger one roll his eyes. He turned to exit the bathroom, just in time see Jinhwan remove his shirt. It exposed all his tattoos—the ones that decorated his arms, the tattoo he had licked earlier—and Jinhwan’s flat belly. He didn’t have well-defined abs like Jiwon does, but Jiwon liked Jinhwan this way, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Feeling conscious, Jinhwan raised the shirt to cover his body.

“Two things,” Jiwon said after letting out a long exhale, one that told Jinhwan that Jiwon was, in fact, trying his best to control himself. “First is… you’re sleeping over, right?”

Jinhwan nodded. “Yep—even if I think that goes against the ‘slow’ rule. And the second?”

“Where did you get the photos?”

A mysterious smile played on Jinhwan’s lips. “Ah…” he said, licking his lips. “For that, we need to take a trip tomorrow. I promised that person a meal and a story as to how things turn out after you get the gift.”

Jiwon opened his mouth to plead for Jinhwan to reveal, but then it transformed into a yawn. “Okay, later then,” he said. “I think I can handle waiting for that.” He stepped back inside the bathroom, and—like a moth to a flame—stole a kiss from Jinhwan again. Jinhwan just smiled, shaking his head at Jiwon. 

“Hurry, ya?” he told his hyung. “I’ll take a shower downstairs so that we’ll just sleep afterwards.”

“Okay.” Jinhwan dropped his shirt and turned to the shower, playing with the controls to get the temperature right. He thought Jiwon was already on his way to the downstairs bathroom when he heard a yell from inside the bedroom, one that made him smile like he was on cloud nine:

_“I love you, Kim Jinhwan!” _

**Author's Note:**

> Feelings, feedback?  
Drop a comment here OR  
Twitter (@kecachata) OR  
CuriousCat (https://curiouscat.me/kecachata)


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